Ever since I came back from that 6-day intensive study in dance therapy, in August, I have been more cognizant of how much I move in a day. I have spent the last 9 years mostly sitting and reading or writing papers. So, now that I have graduated and am free to do pretty much what I please, I can concentrate on doing what I love most. And that is dancing, moving, and keeping my body active.
I have found just the act of stretching out in a star-shape, with both of my arms and legs reaching toward the points of a star, ignites a fire within me that spurs me to move. I learned this shape or movement from the class and I have found that on days which I do this I have a I tend to keep moving for most of the day. I love to read and write so trying to keep physically active is a challenge for me, especially since I had shoulder surgery recently.
I went to the pool the other day and loved swimming under water and paddling back and forth with my kickboard. However, I’m paying for it today. It seems like that when the doctor told me it would take 6 months or longer for my shoulder to be back to normal, he really meant it. I mopped the floor of the common area in my home and today it is causing me a lot of pain. So, my movement is still restricted following my rotator cuff injury to my shoulder. This hinders my movement in dance but also when it causes me pain I tend to hunker down and veg for a time until I can move without pain. But this is contrary to what I believed to be true in the past. I used to exercise daily without regard to how my body felt that day. Maybe I have finally gotten to the place where I respect my body and the messages it gives me and am not as harsh on myself.
This place that I’m in emotionally and spiritually now is very different from the past 60 years of my life. I have quieted the voices of condemnation and criticism, and have surrendered my heart totally to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This was a long, hard, fought for, war. I had grown up believing that I was not very smart and had little chance of succeeding at the things I enjoyed. Through many years of education and therapy, I have come to terms with who I am and have learned to honor myself more than I have ever honored myself before. I now place a large value on myself and quiet my thoughts of being unworthy.
One thing that God has blessed me with is being able to feel music in my body. I guess this is why I love to dance so much. I am fascinated by the way my body almost moves spontaneously when my sense of rhythm picks up a pattern in music. It is something that is inborn in me and while I have mostly used it for my own pleasure, I now see it as a way for me to worship God with my dancing like most people do with their voices and singing. The Lord did not bless me with a good singing voice but he did give me the gift of dance.
So, now that I am older and in a phase of my life where I am physically limited, God has opened the door for me to realize my dream of becoming a dance therapist. Since I have such a personal relationship with our Creator, I desire to have God instruct me and lead me to developing my own style of dance therapy. As yoga has now a “Christian” version, where references to yogis are replaced with the Holy Spirit, God is developing within me a method where focus is on God and individual spiritual connections with each other.
Through heartache and hardship, I have finally arrived at the point I have been dreaming of for the past 8 years.
Welcome to the next phase of my journey.